Relationship-Based Dog Training: A Courtship by Another Name
In dog training, much like dating, one must foster the relationship through maintaining your partner’s interests.
I tell my clients regularly, “The first rule of dating is this: Don’t chase, lure. If you’re chasing, you’re losing.”
I always get a chuckle or a smile, but let’s dive a little deeper into it. I’m not interested in getting my dogs’ attention; I’m interested in keeping it. To help with this, we use remote collars to get and maintain attention, but the process doesn’t end there. What happens, after all, when the collar comes off? A collar, treat, or other external stimulation might get a dog’s attention, but only a relationship can keep it.
Fostering and maintaining a relationship with your dog requires at least three things.
- Play Together
- Exercise Together
- Set Boundaries
Play With Your Dog
Demanding from your dog and never giving back to your dog is a fast way to a one-sided relationship. Play — more specifically, play after training — stimulates your dog’s brain. Dogs, like people, need a reward to keep them interested in the relationship. You need to harbor a relationship with your dog. That motivates her to work with you and not on the basis of a “because I said so” relationship of simple, empty, obedience.
Exercise With Your Dog
Every relationship needs a common ground — something that brings the two together. Although needle pointing and pottery are great hobbies, a dog’s lack opposable thumbs makes such mutual pursuits…challenging. Taking your dog on walks, runs, or joining an agility club are things that your dog can look forward to doing with you.
Set Boundaries With Your Dog
Dogs need to know what they’re allowed and not allowed to do. That sets the tone for respect. Your dog needs to respect your home and you to know she cannot walk over you and can trust your leadership.
The Upside to Relationship-Based Dog Training
If you can find ways to keep your dog’s attention, you will have a long and fulfilling relationship with your dog. She will be better behaved, you will be less frustrated, and you’ll have to replace fewer shoes from your dog chewing them up (if chewing is your issue).
